The Questions That Keep Us Awake
Do you ever find yourself lying in bed asking:
- “Why can’t I just fall asleep like everyone else?”
- “What’s wrong with me?”
- “Will I ever sleep through the night again?”
If you’ve ever struggled with sleep, these questions might feel painfully familiar. From my experience supporting people with sleep difficulties, one theme comes up again and again: the feeling of being stuck. As if there’s no way forward, no solution—just an endless cycle of trying harder and feeling worse.
Of course, there are many root causes of sleep difficulties (which I explore in another article – here), but one that often slips under the radar is our belief system about sleep. These beliefs may have been shaped in childhood—by what we were told, what we observed in others, or by our own experiences. Over time, they can harden into a narrative that reinforces struggle rather than ease.
What If the Right Questions Could Change Everything?
Recently, while listening to a podcast by Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley, I came across the concept of lofty questions. It instantly sparked my curiosity: What if we applied lofty questions to sleep? Could they help us change the way we think about rest—and gently guide us toward deeper, more restorative sleep?
According to John and Sameera Howard in their short book Lofty Questions and the Power of Personal Mind Control, lofty questions are empowering, open-ended questions designed to shift your mindset.
Rather than repeating negative affirmations or falling into the trap of asking “Why me?”, lofty questions plant the seeds of possibility. They work by framing a desired outcome as a question that assumes it’s already true.
From Criticism to Curiosity
These kinds of questions activate curiosity instead of criticism. And because the brain is wired to seek answers, it naturally begins scanning for reasons, possibilities, and patterns that support rest. At the same time, the mind is gently redirected—away from focusing on the problem, away from the feeling of being stuck and helpless—toward new perspectives, solutions, and even healing.
For example, rather than asking yourself: “Why can’t I sleep?“
Try asking:
- “Why is it so easy for me to relax into deep sleep?”
- “Why do I get such good quality rest every night?”
- “Why do I wake up refreshed and energised in the morning?”
This simple change creates a shift in the mind—opening to the idea that restful sleep is natural, possible, and within reach.
How to Use Lofty Questions for Better Sleep
Here’s a simple exercise you can try tonight:
- Pause. Take a moment. Think of 2–3 specific sleep challenges you face.
- Transform. Turn each challenge into a lofty question. If you struggle with racing thoughts: “Why is it becoming easier for my mind to slow down each night?” Or perhaps if you if you wake up in the night and can’t fall back asleep:“Why does my mind know exactly how to drift back into sleep?”
- Write. Jot down your lofty questions slowly on paper. Imagine how it feels to experience restful sleep—what you’d hear, see, or sense in that ideal state.
- Repeat. Read your questions aloud 2–3 times a day, especially before bed. Keep this practice for a few weeks, and notice any gentle shifts in your thoughts, emotions, or sleep patterns.
An Invitation to You
I’d love to hear from you: What lofty questions will you create for your own sleep journey? Share them in the comments—you never know who might be inspired by your words. And as you do, I’ll be sending warm thoughts your way, hoping you move closer to the restful sleep you truly deserve.
Alicja
